It could be conscious or unconscious: Someone in the congregation steps over the line of appropriate behavior into blatant disrespect. Whether it’s passive aggression, or open aggression, as a church leader, you’ve clearly seen it occur within the congregation. What about the member who bullies other adults in the congregation to gain the upper hand in a group process? Or the one who badgers or harasses to gain a sense of power & control. Cutting remarks to undermine leadership or belittle someone. Emotional manipulation to thwart hard conversations, pressuring others into silence. Part of being a “good-enough shepherd” is nurturing a healthy dynamic within church culture, however we can.
Many congregations have statements indicating “Who We Are” – the core values & beliefs that define us as followers of Jesus. But when things get challenging in community, as they inevitably do going through “real life” together, it helps to immediately refer back to a community’s pre-established Covenant of Respect as a touchstone.
A Covenant of Respect is a living document created by community consensus to dynamically & flexibly guide us in our behaviors toward one another. Rather than addressing “Who We Are”, it addresses “How We Shall Be, Together.” Such a Covenant is every bit as essential to the vitality & integrity of Church as our Vision and Mission statements. It supports our aspirations & endeavors to actively live in love with one another. How we treat one another is a central part of our overall witness to the world.
Our Ministry Consultants help congregations tailor their own (amendable) Covenant of Respect to flexibly and dynamically meet the congregation’s changing needs. Each of our ministry consultants are listening professionals who come from outside of your local church context (minimizing internalized conflict and scapegoating within the system) to facilitate sharing & discernment, and to nurture community buy-in through a consensus-building process.
Has your church been needing to formulate its own Covenant of Respect as a go-to mutual understanding of how we are expected to treat one another? Let Shepherd Heart walk alongside your congregation to help you live out this life together as holistically and healthily as you can.
We offer one or two of our consultants as needed to foster open dialogue within your congregation about how you wish to BE together, outlining your aspirations of conviction, while offering input on healthy systems functioning. Our hope is that your Covenant of Respect will provide a healthy immune system to identify and uplift the kinds of behaviors that are acceptable, and help you articulate and hold accountable the kinds of behaviors you would find unacceptable for your community – preventing future problems before they occur.