By Audrey Davidheiser
You? Afraid? And you call yourself a pastor?
Have you heard this accusation? Granted, this criticism could be a form of spiritual attack. But what if this question originated more innocently? Maybe there’s a part of you that thinks being a pastor means you need to cease having feelings. Feeling afraid—for whatever reason—doesn’t reduce your value as a leader. Or a believer, for that matter. The fact that a part of you is capable of feeling afraid shows you’re a human being, complete with a spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
Let me elaborate.
According to John 3:5-6, God’s Spirit indwells your spirit when you receive Jesus as Lord. The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 8:11) empowers your spirit to stay steady regardless of any circumstances. Nothing can faze your spirit. Including the current crisis.
Your soul, however, is a different story. The soul consists of the mind, will, and feelings. There are convincing reasons why your mind and feelings develop strong reactions to the coronavirus pandemic. From having to shelter in place to risking exposure while getting groceries to income loss to living in the limbo of not knowing when we can exhale again (sans a mask), feeling anxious is to be expected.
You might argue, “But I should have faith in God instead of giving in to fear.” God definitely deserves our utmost trust. But feeding ourselves with the Word—which, according to Romans 10:17, is the source of faith—can only happen when we’re receptive.
Have you ever tried quoting a verse to soothe a panicking person? Maybe your daughter is frantic once you tell her she won’t be able to play with friends because of the quarantine. Depending on her level of terror, she may be physiologically incapable to hear you. That’s because her body is too overwhelmed by stress hormones to attend to anything but the source of her angst. To restore your daughter’s calm, you need to first listen to her. Why does she feel so devastated? This principle works with adults, too. You can only truly listen to God’s Word when you’re calm inside. But you need to do preliminary work to create this condition.
Here are some steps.
- If fear is creeping up, take deep breaths. Not the shallow kind from your chest, but deep breaths from your stomach.
- Listen to the feeling. What is it afraid of? Try not to judge yourself for having this feeling; fear is normal given the days we live in.
- Validate your feeling’s right to have its concerns.
- Attend to other feelings you might have about the pandemic. Repeat steps 1-3 until you’ve listened to all your feelings.
- Once you feel calmer inside, invite the Lord to speak to you.
Hearing from the Lord will edify you—and who doesn’t need a boost of faith during these demanding days? It may sound paradoxical, but by listening to your feelings, you will end up strengthening your faith.
Audrey Davidheiser is a psychologist and author of Surviving Difficult People: When Your Faith and Feelings Clash. She treats trauma in adults and couples. Follow her on Instagram @DrAudreyD.
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