Like Paul, I am not proud of my ugly past, but am grateful to God for the dramatic turn my life took resulting from my encounter with Jesus. It seems that Jesus’ glory shines even brighter where the contrast is the greatest between “before” and “after.” I base this assertion on two overlapping pools of evidence. One is my personal experience while incarcerated for thirty years as a result of domestic violence. The second is the academic research I have conducted with former prisoners since my own release from prison in 2010.
There are three concepts related to metanoia, to the transformative work of Christ that happens when one repents and changes one’s heart and mind, which hold an unsurpassed depth of meaning to those of us who met Jesus in prison. Believers who have never been incarcerated may well be challenged and encouraged by what prisoners can teach them about these: about redemption, about what it means that “Jesus died for my sins,” and about extravagant gratitude.
Redemption: I maintain that redemption is too often underplayed and understated by the church today. We speak of being redeemed, but how many of us have really thought about what that means? As those who have been convicted of crimes are well aware, redemption is the foundation for transformation. Forgive us, and we are still just forgiven criminals. But redeem us and we become something new! Jesus redeems us, buys us back from our sinful nature and sinful ways, and restores us to a new and cleansed standing with Him. Everything changes.
“Jesus died for my sins!” Although this is the mechanism by which we are redeemed, it is not exactly the same as redemption. My two-year-old daughter died because I was unable to protect her from my abusive live-in boyfriend. I could (and did) cry an ocean of tears, but no tears can undo the price she paid. I was living a sinful lifestyle and the repercussions were devastating. What I, and many of my sisters who found Christ in prison, have come to realize is that Jesus was our victim, too. He died for our sins. Both Jesus and my daughter paid prices beyond comprehension, prices that were utterly undeserved. That leaves me with one simple decision. Will I waste the price(s) already paid? Or will I make my life a living tribute to the one who died for me? This is a rock solid foundation for transformation.
Extravagant gratitude: We all know the story in Luke 7 about the woman with the alabaster jar of ointment, the main point being that those who are forgiven much therefore love much. And yet extravagant gratitude is even deeper than this. There are so many metaphors in the Bible that we take lightly, that are meant to express this extravagant gratitude. Peter knew what it meant to be released from physical iron chains, and so do transformed criminals, including me. That Jesus set me free is my concrete reality.
Dr. Linda Lee Smith Barkman earned her PhD from Fuller Theological Seminary in Intercultural Studies. Dr. Barkman is a writer, educator, and advocate who has a heart for the marginalized, especially women, and most especially incarcerated women.
